What Little Shoes Taught Me About Leadership

We all know we’re supposed to practice gratitude. But when life kicks in high gear and we find ourselves up against multiple deadlines, distractions coming at us from angle, and unrelenting timelines putting pressure on things, it’s not always easy to find it.

I learned one of my most lasting lessons on gratitude not in a book or a keynote, but in the cluttered entryway of my childhood home.

The Impact of Coats & Shoes

Growing up, my sister, father, and I were professional scatterers. Shoes kicked off at the door. Coats dropped anywhere but the closet. My poor mother asked us a thousand times to put things away properly, but we were consistent in doing anything but that.

Arguably she could have been upset. But she never was. I found out later that instead of staying angry, she had just reframed it.

She told us she’d started saying this to herself every time she picked up after us.

“Today I’m grateful that we have shoes for our feet, and coats to keep us warm.”

That small token of appreciation changed everything. Not just for her, but for all of us.

She taught us that how we talk to ourselves in frustrating moments can shape everything that comes after.

That mindset stuck. Today when I catch myself getting worked up over something trivial, I try to shift the language first.

I have to becomes I get to.

Because of becomes in order to.

Why is this happening becomes what can I learn from this?

It’s not about ignoring the hard stuff. You inevitably have to deal with things. It’s about reminding yourself that your mindset is the only thing you can fully control, and it’s amazing how the universe responds when you put that into action.

So where do you start?

FART.

This might be a little weird to read mid post, but hear me out. One of my favorite mental frameworks comes from photographer Ken Rockwell. He wasn’t writing about gratitude, but I find his process works for that too.

It’s called FART (yes, really) and it’s an acronym that isn’t hard to forget.

• Feel – Notice your environment, your emotions, or reactions.
• Ask – Why am I feeling this way?
• Refine – What’s the opportunity here?
• Take – Take the picture. Or take action. Move forward.

It’s intended for taking photos – feel something, inquire why it sparks you, refine what it is to frame the photo, and take it. Turns out, this works just as well for mindset shifts as it does for photography. Especially when trying to practice more gratitude.

The Overlooked Leadership Skill

Gratitude is often underrepresented.

It’s not commonly listed among the core soft skills, but it absolutely belongs there. And it’s one of the most powerful ones we have.

Gratitude increases emotional intelligence.
It improves decision-making under pressure.
It strengthens relationships and team dynamics.
And it changes how you show up when things go sideways.

That’s not fluff. That’s leadership.

Teams notice when leaders express appreciation.
Colleagues notice when you stay grounded during chaos.
And people trust you more when they feel seen.

Gratitude doesn’t just regulate your mindset, it elevates the experience for everyone around you.

Want to lead with more presence?
Start with more perspective. Start with gratitude.

Your Turn

What’s something that’s been frustrating you lately?

Try reframing it through a lens of gratitude.

It won’t fix everything. But it might shift your day. And over time, that shift will become a habit, and that habit will become part of who you are, and that will be noticed. By everyone around you.

Let the little shoes on your floor remind you: whatever emotion you’re looking for, you’ll find it.

🔗 Don’t be a stranger linkedin.com/in/scottschoeneberger.